you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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