You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
