So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
