With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
