The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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