Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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