why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
