I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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