Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The best revenge is premature balding
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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