he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
