Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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