rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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