did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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