Porn is love you can see.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
