i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
