Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
