now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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