Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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