Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I don't think brook has ever known best
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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