It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
