So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
