so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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