Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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