I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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