...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
