I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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