So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize