Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
