Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
