This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
