Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
