I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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