so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
