Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
