I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
