Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
