I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
