Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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