your parents love me but you hate me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's shark week go big or go home
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize