You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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