From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
