She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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