Kiss
Puke
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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