She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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