the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
