make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize