If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
