Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
