I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
