I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
two words...techno handjob
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
