do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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