Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
