You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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