with your own penis?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
