im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
