Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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