Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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