what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
