I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
