Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
