So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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