Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
