It's Friday. Sex?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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