i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
