For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
