we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
