were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
