Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
one two three fourrrrnication!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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