I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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