so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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