i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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