I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
